Posted this on my myspace blog a month or so ago...
I recently was invited to a holiday gathering which was, like many other celebrations, a festive event involving great music, rich food, and freely flowing alcoholic beverages.
Most of the people in my life know that I am in recovery and that I do not drink - and most of them are incredibly respectful and supportive of that in my life (most of them also knew me when I wasn't in recovery...which is precisely WHY they are so supportive, lol). The folks hosting this event, however, are new friends - and I didn't know alot of the people there. As we arrived, we were asked what we would like to drink - and when I said "Coke," I got the strangest look of misunderstanding...then the question turned into "with rum?" Answer: "No thanks, just Coke." A bit later, a very similar conversation took place again - oddly enough, with the same person, who seemed to be feeling like maybe she just wasn't offering me the right drink and that if she kept trying different options she would finally land on something I would like. Finally, I said "I really am fine with Coke, I just don't drink alcohol." I watched her face as this sudden look of knowing came over her...then her nose sort of crinkled up and she said "Oh man, that sucks...I didn't know you couldn't drink."
This is not the first time I have heard this - or seen this look of combined astonishment and, well, some sort of strange pity...it usually comes just before a statement about how hard it must be, or a time when they got really drunk, or some such thing.
Can I just say...it's not that I can't drink - it's that I don't drink...there is a difference. It's nothing to be sad about - and, in fact, I am quite happy with this choice. Watching other people drink does not make me want to drink. Watching other people get completely lit just reminds me of why I have made the choices I have. Seeing other people have a drink does not offend me. I do not feel bad, sad, thirsty, or left out unless the alcohol is the complete focus of attention - in which case, I will go home.
It's a strange feeling for me when this kind of stuff happens. There is this automatic assumption that I am not having as much fun as other people because I am not drinking - and that is just not true. The fact is, that I have more fun sober than I ever had fucked up - and the best part is that I remember it all the next day...AND, I don't have a headache.
And in the power of my own choice...I have made it through another day sober, beaten the odds one more time...and, for me, there is nothing that calls for celebration more than that.
And on that note...thanks for letting me share
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I recently was invited to a holiday gathering which was, like many other celebrations, a festive event involving great music, rich food, and freely flowing alcoholic beverages.
Most of the people in my life know that I am in recovery and that I do not drink - and most of them are incredibly respectful and supportive of that in my life (most of them also knew me when I wasn't in recovery...which is precisely WHY they are so supportive, lol). The folks hosting this event, however, are new friends - and I didn't know alot of the people there. As we arrived, we were asked what we would like to drink - and when I said "Coke," I got the strangest look of misunderstanding...then the question turned into "with rum?" Answer: "No thanks, just Coke." A bit later, a very similar conversation took place again - oddly enough, with the same person, who seemed to be feeling like maybe she just wasn't offering me the right drink and that if she kept trying different options she would finally land on something I would like. Finally, I said "I really am fine with Coke, I just don't drink alcohol." I watched her face as this sudden look of knowing came over her...then her nose sort of crinkled up and she said "Oh man, that sucks...I didn't know you couldn't drink."
This is not the first time I have heard this - or seen this look of combined astonishment and, well, some sort of strange pity...it usually comes just before a statement about how hard it must be, or a time when they got really drunk, or some such thing.
Can I just say...it's not that I can't drink - it's that I don't drink...there is a difference. It's nothing to be sad about - and, in fact, I am quite happy with this choice. Watching other people drink does not make me want to drink. Watching other people get completely lit just reminds me of why I have made the choices I have. Seeing other people have a drink does not offend me. I do not feel bad, sad, thirsty, or left out unless the alcohol is the complete focus of attention - in which case, I will go home.
It's a strange feeling for me when this kind of stuff happens. There is this automatic assumption that I am not having as much fun as other people because I am not drinking - and that is just not true. The fact is, that I have more fun sober than I ever had fucked up - and the best part is that I remember it all the next day...AND, I don't have a headache.
And in the power of my own choice...I have made it through another day sober, beaten the odds one more time...and, for me, there is nothing that calls for celebration more than that.
And on that note...thanks for letting me share
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