Drugs always wear off eventually, but addiction is forever – at least that’s what all the professionals say. I don’t really know how much I believe that. There are so many concepts out there about what addiction is, and what the treatment should be. Is it a disease, a choice, a lack of morality? Is it rooted in genetics, or trauma, or escape, or a deeply ingrained selfishness or sense of entitlement? I am not writing this blog to answer any of these questions for the simple reason that I do not know what the answer is. I have a sneaking suspicion that eventually, it will be proven that the answer is quite possibly “all of the above.” I think addiction is much more complex than anyone really even realizes at this point in time. I am writing simply to share my journey - from highest mountain tops, and the darkest valleys....and all of the quiet, peaceful, sometimes a little bumpy, roads that connect them all together into one path...
My addiction started with medical issues and quickly became my escape plan to get away from a life filled with emotional pain, anxiety, and insecurity. It eventually progressed into selfish and immoral choices based on my own needs, resentments, and inability to acknowledge the good in my own life. Addiction made me a horrible human being. It took my life away, and eventually – it killed my soul.
Today, I have been clean and sober for more than 5 years, by the grace of a higher power and a little help from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Some days it's easy, and some days are excruciating...but there is not a day that passes that I do not find my way to my knees and say a prayer of gratitude for the very fact that I am alive to tell my story.
This world of the internet is amazing. The first people to read this will likely be my friends...and whoever they pass it along to. Perhaps a stranger or 2 will do a google search on addiction or recovery and click this link to find themselves reading in these pages...who really knows how far the ripple will really reach?? But somewhere, someone is hurting, and confused, and sick...feeling alone, and crazy, and desperate. If this blog finds that one individual or someone that loves them and wants nothing more than to help...and just one word gives them what they need on that one day....
Well, then it will all be worth it, won't it??
My name is Christy, and I am a recovering addict....
My addiction started with medical issues and quickly became my escape plan to get away from a life filled with emotional pain, anxiety, and insecurity. It eventually progressed into selfish and immoral choices based on my own needs, resentments, and inability to acknowledge the good in my own life. Addiction made me a horrible human being. It took my life away, and eventually – it killed my soul.
Today, I have been clean and sober for more than 5 years, by the grace of a higher power and a little help from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. Some days it's easy, and some days are excruciating...but there is not a day that passes that I do not find my way to my knees and say a prayer of gratitude for the very fact that I am alive to tell my story.
This world of the internet is amazing. The first people to read this will likely be my friends...and whoever they pass it along to. Perhaps a stranger or 2 will do a google search on addiction or recovery and click this link to find themselves reading in these pages...who really knows how far the ripple will really reach?? But somewhere, someone is hurting, and confused, and sick...feeling alone, and crazy, and desperate. If this blog finds that one individual or someone that loves them and wants nothing more than to help...and just one word gives them what they need on that one day....
Well, then it will all be worth it, won't it??
My name is Christy, and I am a recovering addict....
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